July 25, 2018 8:00 am
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The Kloons, a group of three guys losing their minds and making videos together, released an advertisement for Cheez-Its Christ, the snack that is low in fat and high in faith, unlike mainstream heathen snacks.

The commercial features a mom who catches her son drawing the dinosaur extinction for homework. All of the sudden, a man appears in the background.

“Is your child coming home from school with confused ideas about life and God?” he asks. The mom nods.

“Do you worry about your kids all day?” he continues. “Will they have enough to eat? Are they making good Christian friends? What lies are they being taught in science class?”

He suggests sending kids to school with the Cheez-Its Christ, “The only snack that fills them up and absolves their sins.” He explains that the cheese flavoring contains a slow release neuro-numbing chemical that targets the logic center of kids’ cerebrums to ensure they come home with an open heart and a closed mind.

“Now with Cheez-Its Christ, I know that Jesus is touching my son from the inside out,” the mom says as she walks over to her son, who is now drawing a cross for homework.

So be sure your kids “savior the flavor” of the new communion snack, Cheez-Its Christ.

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This post was written by Nadia Vella